Spontaneous Hilarity is the Best Kind!

So yesterday I was at the Post Office doing Post Office-y type things and I see this little boy of about six or seven with his mother. This kid's being your run of the mill little bastard: banging stuff around, asking too many questions, squeezing his toy kitty cat which meows at a ridiculous volume, etc. Well, this little kid and his mother do their business at the counter and then head out the door. I drop off the postcards I was mailing and also head out the door. As I'm digging for my keys, which have inevitably fallen into the depths of my bag, I see a slight commotion ahead of me. I glance up, only to lay my eyes on one of the most fantastical things I have ever seen. The aforementioned kid had apparently taken a tumble as he was skipping down the corridor towards the exit. Not only that, but when he fell... his pants fell down too. So I look up to see this little boy struggling to get up and pull his pants up at the same time. He was kinda doing that hop and jump thing people do when pulling their pants up that makes them look like they were participating in a bean bag race. And when I say his pants fell down, I mean they fell down. I saw this poor little kid's entire butt. HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I laughed so hard I almost shit myself.

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This is what they call tough love

Britney then:

Britney now:

Britney then:

Britney now:

Then:

Now:

What happened Brit? You used to be America's sweetheart. Every guy wanted to touch you all over. And now this. I'm not harping on you for the weight gain, I mean ,you popped out two babies in the time it takes to make a microwave bag of popcorn. But why do you insist on dressing like you shop at the Magic Mart? Or the store where strippers get their "costumes"? Why do you wander around in minuscule skirts and no underpants? Why do you always look like you're on the last leg of a cross country road trip and the only sanitary measures you've taken are a whores bath in a restroom outside of Clovis, NM and a pack of Handi-Wipes that you found in the glove compartment? Stop effing around, take care of your kids (and I mean you take care of your kids, don't just hand them off to the nanny or your mom or the latest guy that you threw up on), quit dying your hair, or at the very least, WASH your hair and take some time to regroup. Maybe hit the spa... or the gym. I'm just saying. I promise we won't forget about you if we don't see your swimsuit parts for a couple of weeks. Ok?