For the fella (or lady) who stumbled upon my blog because you were seeking an answer to the question of whether or not it is ok for a man to wax:
It is my humble opinion that if you feel that you (or your gentleman friend) have some hair in places where there should perhaps not be any hair, then by all means rip that stuff right off.
However, and this is a big however, it has been my experience that the majority of dudes have nowhere near the level of pain tolerance necessary to get through an entire waxing. I'm just saying. You guys are great for lifting heavy things and killing scary bugs and even other painful things like breaking a finger but when it comes to having warm wax spread on your hairy bits and then abruptly ripped out, you fellas are, well, kinda weenies. But if you think you can hang here's a few pointers!
- Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate! Make your loofa your new best friend.
- When dealing with unruly eyebrows, be careful to not go overboard with the grooming. Few things look scarier that a guy with girlish brows. You want to clean up any hair that's hanging out where it shouldn't be, i.e. your brows go all the way up into your hairline.
- Get a recommendation from any chicks you may know that wax. A good waxer can make the whole ordeal fairly quick and less painful than a bad one. A bad one can make you pray for death to end your suffering. This is especially true if you're looking to wax the ol' undercarriage. You want to make sure before the waxing starts that your waxer absolutely knows what she is doing.
- If you're waxing because some chick told you that back hair was a turn off, consider finding a gal who digs that fur sweater. I happen to know and love several gals that find body hair quite fetching. I say this because once that first strip comes off, if you're not doing it for yourself there ain't no way in hell you'll get out of there alive.
- Sometimes it helps take the sting out if you pop a few Advil a few minutes before your appointment. It doesn't make it not hurt, but it does take some of the edge off.
-It's a good idea to trim your shit up before heading to the waxer. Hair should be about 1/4 of an inch long. NO SHORTER! But don't go in there with your hair like an inch long. It'll just make it hurt worse, I promise.
- Be prepared for the tweezing.
Ok! I have no idea whether New Brunswick, New Jersey will ever stumble back onto my blog, but if you do Jersey, I hope I gave you some info and the confidence to take that first step to the land of the hairless. Vaya con dios, my friend, vaya con dios.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Things Long Forgotten
Before I had this blog I had a blog over at Diaryland. Every now and then I'll go back and re-read some of those old entries just to remember what life was like back then. I've spent some time this morning doing that instead of working because really? I could give a fuck all about this job.
Regardless of my feelings for my current employment situation, I spent some time with the me of a few years ago. Several of the entries I read made me laugh, some of them made me a bit sad, some of them made me miss folks who are no longer in my life. Do you ever meet someone and from the get go the two of you click? You get each others jokes and energy, you know just what to do to make each other laugh really hard, all that good stuff. You're what Anne Shirley would refer to as "Friends of Adam": people cut from the same cloth. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic in nature is unimportant because when you meet these folks, it's such a shiny and special and new time that everything just sort of glows...
When I look back at these old entries and I remember people that have drifted out of my life, I'm over come with the desire to get in touch with them, write them, call them and say "Hey, remember how we used to be pals? Remember that we used to have a shit load of fun together? Do you ever miss that? Because I do, I really do. And if you ever want to call and say 'hello' or tell me something funny that happened to you today or drudge up some long forgotten inside joke, I'd really like that."
But I try not to do those things because, you know, if these folks that I miss missed me too than they'd be the ones to call or write or whatever, right?
Losing folks whose company I truly enjoy is like forgetting where that really great little hole in the wall restaurant is. I remember what made that place great, I want so badly to get back there but I haven't the foggiest idea of how to do that. All I can do is dive in circles and think "Eff! I know that this place has incredible burgers, that the menus are large lamenated sheets of cream colored paper with burgandy writing, that my favorite table is the back corner booth. How the fuck do I get there?"
Lil' Bit sent me a message today saying that I'd showed up in her dreams three times in the last week or so. She thought it meant that she should touch base with me. I've been having these dreams where this guy that I knew, like, a lifetime ago makes an appearance. I haven't talked to or laid eyes on this guy in about 4 or 5 years but every now and then he'll make a guest appearance in my dreams. It's always so good to see him because stuff is just nice and easy like it was when we were pals before things got messy. Anyway, I always wonder why he decides to pop up in my dreamscapes. Maybe I should ask him the next time I see him? (I've just very recently been able to inform myself that I'm dreaming and it's definitely adding a new demention to my nightly adventures.) Yeah, maybe I'll do that.
Ok, this entire dicussion is a little too heavy for me to deal with on an empty stomach. I'm gonna go eat some lunch and be thankful for the super cool folks that are still in my life!
Regardless of my feelings for my current employment situation, I spent some time with the me of a few years ago. Several of the entries I read made me laugh, some of them made me a bit sad, some of them made me miss folks who are no longer in my life. Do you ever meet someone and from the get go the two of you click? You get each others jokes and energy, you know just what to do to make each other laugh really hard, all that good stuff. You're what Anne Shirley would refer to as "Friends of Adam": people cut from the same cloth. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic in nature is unimportant because when you meet these folks, it's such a shiny and special and new time that everything just sort of glows...
When I look back at these old entries and I remember people that have drifted out of my life, I'm over come with the desire to get in touch with them, write them, call them and say "Hey, remember how we used to be pals? Remember that we used to have a shit load of fun together? Do you ever miss that? Because I do, I really do. And if you ever want to call and say 'hello' or tell me something funny that happened to you today or drudge up some long forgotten inside joke, I'd really like that."
But I try not to do those things because, you know, if these folks that I miss missed me too than they'd be the ones to call or write or whatever, right?
Losing folks whose company I truly enjoy is like forgetting where that really great little hole in the wall restaurant is. I remember what made that place great, I want so badly to get back there but I haven't the foggiest idea of how to do that. All I can do is dive in circles and think "Eff! I know that this place has incredible burgers, that the menus are large lamenated sheets of cream colored paper with burgandy writing, that my favorite table is the back corner booth. How the fuck do I get there?"
Lil' Bit sent me a message today saying that I'd showed up in her dreams three times in the last week or so. She thought it meant that she should touch base with me. I've been having these dreams where this guy that I knew, like, a lifetime ago makes an appearance. I haven't talked to or laid eyes on this guy in about 4 or 5 years but every now and then he'll make a guest appearance in my dreams. It's always so good to see him because stuff is just nice and easy like it was when we were pals before things got messy. Anyway, I always wonder why he decides to pop up in my dreamscapes. Maybe I should ask him the next time I see him? (I've just very recently been able to inform myself that I'm dreaming and it's definitely adding a new demention to my nightly adventures.) Yeah, maybe I'll do that.
Ok, this entire dicussion is a little too heavy for me to deal with on an empty stomach. I'm gonna go eat some lunch and be thankful for the super cool folks that are still in my life!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Ok, so, I get the hiccups pretty frequently. I actually get them more than just about anyone I know. To make matters worse, they're usually pretty hard to get rid of. Many of your common hiccup cures won't work on me. *Sigh*
Well, the other day on our way to NY, I got the hiccups on the plane. Now a while ago my mother had the hiccups and I did the whole "I'll give you ten dollars if you hiccup right now" bit. It actually worked on my dear old mom and she apparently stowed that info away. Now...anyone who has met my mother knows that she's a little Bolivian woman with a fairly strong accent. She speaks english quite well but occasionally things get lost in translation. Like when I got the hiccups on the plane.
So there I am, hiccuping away and I see my mother watching me out of the corner of her eye. Quite suddenly she says, rather violently, "GIVE ME TEN DOLLARS!!!!!" I laughed so hard that I disrupted all the people around me. I had to calm down before I could explain to her that it didn't quite work like that.
The other day Owen had the hiccups (which he gets ALL THE TIME! He's so the perfect dog for me!!) and once again, my mother sits there watching him for a moment. Then, once again, quite suddenly and somewhat violently she goes: "BOO!!!!" After I had composed myself, I tried to convey that I didn't believe that worked for dogs the way it did for humans.
Awesome.
Well, the other day on our way to NY, I got the hiccups on the plane. Now a while ago my mother had the hiccups and I did the whole "I'll give you ten dollars if you hiccup right now" bit. It actually worked on my dear old mom and she apparently stowed that info away. Now...anyone who has met my mother knows that she's a little Bolivian woman with a fairly strong accent. She speaks english quite well but occasionally things get lost in translation. Like when I got the hiccups on the plane.
So there I am, hiccuping away and I see my mother watching me out of the corner of her eye. Quite suddenly she says, rather violently, "GIVE ME TEN DOLLARS!!!!!" I laughed so hard that I disrupted all the people around me. I had to calm down before I could explain to her that it didn't quite work like that.
The other day Owen had the hiccups (which he gets ALL THE TIME! He's so the perfect dog for me!!) and once again, my mother sits there watching him for a moment. Then, once again, quite suddenly and somewhat violently she goes: "BOO!!!!" After I had composed myself, I tried to convey that I didn't believe that worked for dogs the way it did for humans.
Awesome.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Your daily dose of positive.
Wouldn't it be funny if that was the title to this post and then you went on to read it and it was just like a toxically negative diatribe about this, that and the other? I think that'd be funny but that's not how I roll.
So, the weather in The Burque has been so purty lately. It's a bit windy, but we've been rocking warm weather days for the past few weeks now. The added bonus is that everything is beginning to bloom. It makes me wanna go play football and drink lemonade, because you know, that's what you do when the weather gets nice.
(I'm pretty sure that this post is going to be a random blah-blah about things that are tickling my fancy right now. It's not going to be real deep. Just a heads up.)
Ok, is anyone else out there watching Idol? I'm totally addicted to it. In my ever so humble opinion, I'm enjoying this season significantly more than I have the past several. I think there are some really great folks on this year and I think they're thinking outside the box a bit. It doesn't always succeed but it's more interesting to watch than last year. BTW, does anyone else think that Carly Smithson's Irish accent has gotten stronger as of late? It was barely noticeable in the prelims and now it's really prominant. Huh? Also, how fun was it that Dolly Parton was the guest artist last week? Very fun!
Dolly's totally a lady that I'd like to hang with. I bet she's got some great stories about Burt Reynolds. The ladies over on Go Fug Yourself think that the real Dolly either died or retired several years back but that the proverbial "they" have just continued to dress people up like her. It's a sort of "Dread Pirate Roberts" thing, which is hilarious and slightly scary.
I met some friends of a friend this weekend and during the course of our conversation it dawned on me how thankful I am to have at least some knowledge of comic books. Ladies, I'm telling you if you want to be able to hold a conversation with almost any guy these days, you better at least pick up Fables because, trust me, almost every guy you know is reading comic books. At any rate, I'm glad that I had this knowledge because it's been my experience that dudes really appreciate encountering a girl who doesn't make them feel like King of the Dweebs for reading comic books. And truth be told, if you judge guys because they read comic books and you've yet to experience the joy that is a really fuckin' good CB then you should just go home, you judgemental, hateful bitches!! (So much for the daily dose of positive...) So, in conclusion of this topic, I'd like to send out a heartfelt "Thank you" to the folks in my universe who thought to put a comic book in my grubby little hands.
Moving right along, I was at a furniture store this weekend and I saw this really great chair and a half, which is exactly what it sounds like: a chair that is wide enough that it equals a chair and a half. Anyhoo, not only was this a very comfy chair but it also unfolded into a twin size sleeper! Even more cool was the fact that the mattress wasn't your run-of-the-mill sleeper mattress but an inflatable mattress which eliminated that whole bar/spring in the back thing you get with so many other sleeper sofas. I, of course, threw myself onto the thing with great enthusiasm and was pleased to give a very good report. That chair will likely be finding its way to my casita in the near future. Hoo-Ray! Now I can handle four overnight guests, so pack your bags everyone!
I get on these snack kicks every now and then and right now I'm in the throes of a love affair with chips and salsa. A/N I just looked up the definition of "throes" and that word means 'a violent struggle, convulsion, spasm or pang'. Umm... that word doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Dangit!!) Ok, whatever, I'm digging on the chips and salsa right now and very often, I'll throw in a dollop of sour cream and just send the whole darn snack off into the stratosphere!
On a another food related note, during my time in Appalachia I was introduced to and fell in lurve with a steak seasoning named Dale's. This stuff is awesome and truly is the secret to rad burgers. About a month or so ago I had a huge hankering for burgers and set out to buy supplies. But, hey, guess what? Dale's isn't sold in The Burque. I looked in every grocery store I could get to and no one had it. Meh. Double meh. So what did I do? I went to the Dale's Steak Seasoning website and ordered some. Success! I am now the proud owner of a case of Dale's Steak Seasoning and I finally got to have my yummy burgers.
All's right in the world.
So, the weather in The Burque has been so purty lately. It's a bit windy, but we've been rocking warm weather days for the past few weeks now. The added bonus is that everything is beginning to bloom. It makes me wanna go play football and drink lemonade, because you know, that's what you do when the weather gets nice.
(I'm pretty sure that this post is going to be a random blah-blah about things that are tickling my fancy right now. It's not going to be real deep. Just a heads up.)
Ok, is anyone else out there watching Idol? I'm totally addicted to it. In my ever so humble opinion, I'm enjoying this season significantly more than I have the past several. I think there are some really great folks on this year and I think they're thinking outside the box a bit. It doesn't always succeed but it's more interesting to watch than last year. BTW, does anyone else think that Carly Smithson's Irish accent has gotten stronger as of late? It was barely noticeable in the prelims and now it's really prominant. Huh? Also, how fun was it that Dolly Parton was the guest artist last week? Very fun!
Dolly's totally a lady that I'd like to hang with. I bet she's got some great stories about Burt Reynolds. The ladies over on Go Fug Yourself think that the real Dolly either died or retired several years back but that the proverbial "they" have just continued to dress people up like her. It's a sort of "Dread Pirate Roberts" thing, which is hilarious and slightly scary.
I met some friends of a friend this weekend and during the course of our conversation it dawned on me how thankful I am to have at least some knowledge of comic books. Ladies, I'm telling you if you want to be able to hold a conversation with almost any guy these days, you better at least pick up Fables because, trust me, almost every guy you know is reading comic books. At any rate, I'm glad that I had this knowledge because it's been my experience that dudes really appreciate encountering a girl who doesn't make them feel like King of the Dweebs for reading comic books. And truth be told, if you judge guys because they read comic books and you've yet to experience the joy that is a really fuckin' good CB then you should just go home, you judgemental, hateful bitches!! (So much for the daily dose of positive...) So, in conclusion of this topic, I'd like to send out a heartfelt "Thank you" to the folks in my universe who thought to put a comic book in my grubby little hands.
Moving right along, I was at a furniture store this weekend and I saw this really great chair and a half, which is exactly what it sounds like: a chair that is wide enough that it equals a chair and a half. Anyhoo, not only was this a very comfy chair but it also unfolded into a twin size sleeper! Even more cool was the fact that the mattress wasn't your run-of-the-mill sleeper mattress but an inflatable mattress which eliminated that whole bar/spring in the back thing you get with so many other sleeper sofas. I, of course, threw myself onto the thing with great enthusiasm and was pleased to give a very good report. That chair will likely be finding its way to my casita in the near future. Hoo-Ray! Now I can handle four overnight guests, so pack your bags everyone!
I get on these snack kicks every now and then and right now I'm in the throes of a love affair with chips and salsa. A/N I just looked up the definition of "throes" and that word means 'a violent struggle, convulsion, spasm or pang'. Umm... that word doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Dangit!!) Ok, whatever, I'm digging on the chips and salsa right now and very often, I'll throw in a dollop of sour cream and just send the whole darn snack off into the stratosphere!
On a another food related note, during my time in Appalachia I was introduced to and fell in lurve with a steak seasoning named Dale's. This stuff is awesome and truly is the secret to rad burgers. About a month or so ago I had a huge hankering for burgers and set out to buy supplies. But, hey, guess what? Dale's isn't sold in The Burque. I looked in every grocery store I could get to and no one had it. Meh. Double meh. So what did I do? I went to the Dale's Steak Seasoning website and ordered some. Success! I am now the proud owner of a case of Dale's Steak Seasoning and I finally got to have my yummy burgers.
All's right in the world.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
No more talk of darkness!
So I believe everyone is aware of the fact that I fancy Gerard Butler, even though I can't for the life of me say his name right. (It looks like Gerard, but it sounds like Jared? Huh?) I mean look at him, he's really rather dashing!
Hi. Hi. Hi.
And we of course all know that Mr. Butler was none other than the brave and heroic and unbelievably abdominally blessed King Leonidas, yes?
But did anyone else know that he also plays the music of the night?
What the fuck?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Now there may be some of you out there who will feel that I've gotten some bad/wrong information, however to those folks I have just one thing to say: Imdb it, effers! It's all there!!
I feel a little bit like I've been lied to. Like, 75% of the reason I was so taken with Mr. Butler was because he totally exuded this manly-man kind of vibe. I was willng to overlook P.S. I love you because I thought it was just one of those movies, ya know? You know how sometimes awesome people make really silly movies, like Gary Oldman in Lost in Space? Yeah, like that. But apparently Mr. Butler has a thing for tragic love stories and that makes me wonder if he's just a giant, glistening vagina.
I'm completely torn.
*A/N: Apparently this post caused somewhat of a kerfuffle because folks have been emailing about it. WTF?! Several of the referring URL's for this post were emails and google searches. The google thing wouldn't be so weird if they weren't all done today. I'm scared I'm going to get nasty notes from the Gerard Butler fan club... or worse, from the Phantom of the Opera fan club!! Eek!!!
Hi. Hi. Hi.
And we of course all know that Mr. Butler was none other than the brave and heroic and unbelievably abdominally blessed King Leonidas, yes?
But did anyone else know that he also plays the music of the night?
What the fuck?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Now there may be some of you out there who will feel that I've gotten some bad/wrong information, however to those folks I have just one thing to say: Imdb it, effers! It's all there!!
I feel a little bit like I've been lied to. Like, 75% of the reason I was so taken with Mr. Butler was because he totally exuded this manly-man kind of vibe. I was willng to overlook P.S. I love you because I thought it was just one of those movies, ya know? You know how sometimes awesome people make really silly movies, like Gary Oldman in Lost in Space? Yeah, like that. But apparently Mr. Butler has a thing for tragic love stories and that makes me wonder if he's just a giant, glistening vagina.
I'm completely torn.
*A/N: Apparently this post caused somewhat of a kerfuffle because folks have been emailing about it. WTF?! Several of the referring URL's for this post were emails and google searches. The google thing wouldn't be so weird if they weren't all done today. I'm scared I'm going to get nasty notes from the Gerard Butler fan club... or worse, from the Phantom of the Opera fan club!! Eek!!!
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