Stick it in my inbox

Ok, so...

I keep getting these emails that say things like "HOT TIGHT HOLE" or "BLACK COCK" or "SLUTTY GIRLS OOZING" and other equally descriptive things. I'm getting a lot of these, I mean A LOT. Like probably somewhere around 80 of them a day. And yes, they're always written in all capital letters which, of course, makes me think that these things are being yelled at me. ALL ANAL GANG BANG!!! HOT DRIPPING WET MOMS GIVE US A SPANKING!!! KELLI'S PRISON FANTASY CUMS TRUE!!!!!

Now I enjoy porn as much as the next guy but it's a little unsettling to find that much in my inbox. I, of course, delete these immediately and never, never open them but, truth be told, there are a few that leave me curious. Can Anna really take on the entire wrestling team? Will Taylor really get turned inside out? The ones that I find the most humorous are titled as such "BISEXUAL WOMAN PIC" which lends itself to the image of a woman standing there in ratty panties with a placard in front of her that reads "BISEXUAL!!!!" like she's taking a mug shot or something.

Oh, well... at least they're more interesting than all the crazy Christian dating services I was getting a few years back.
...I still think the Mexican had something to do with that.

A List of Lists

Give credit where credit is due...I stole this from BOB.

10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Color: Red. Scarlet to be precise.
Favorite Time: The extra hours of sunlight (between 6pm and 9pm) that you get during the summer.
Favorite Food: Pizza
Favorite Drink: Coke
Favorite Ice Cream: Pralines and Cream, or one scoop of chocolate with a scoop of raspberry
Favorite Place: anyplace with a beach
Favorite Sport: umm...I'm not what you would call "the athletic type"
Favorite Actor: This is a tough one. Umm... I like Johnny Depp, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Gary Oldman. This list could go on forever.
Favorite Actress: This is virtually impossible. I'm a fan of Joan Allen. Yeah, let's go with that.

9 Currents
Current Feeling: Lovely
Current Drink: Wawa
Current Time: 10:53pm
Current Show on TV: Don't know
Current Mobile used: Verizon
Current Windows Open: Blogger: Create, iTunes
Current Underwear: umm... none.
Current Clothes: gray tank top and a mid length black skirt
Current Thought: Are people gonna think I'm strange b/c I said I wasn't wearing any underwear?

8 Firsts
First Nickname: Princessita
First Kiss: a boy named Andrew. He tasted like Cool Ranch Doritos
First Crush: Mark Madellini. I kinda can't believe I remember that.
First Best Friend: Danielle Williams
First Vehicle I Drove: My brother's Corolla
First Job: Umm...this one.
First Date: The only actual date I've ever been on: Dustin Ingram picked me up and we went to Gruene Hall.
First Pet: A dog named Sandy

7 Lasts
Last Drink: Cranberry juice
Last Kiss: Earlier today.
Last Meal: Pasta with homemade sauce
Last Web Site Visited: my stats page
Last Movie Watched: Mission Impossible 3
Last Phone Call: Scot
Last TV show Watched: Barefoot Contessa

6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Oh, yes.
Have You Ever Been Drunk: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: nope
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: as crazy as some of the kids in my high school were, I never found myself in that position.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: *smile* yes.
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: sigh...yes.

5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: Apertura from The Motorcycle Diaries, the crazy rain storm outside, my fridge humming, the sound of my fingers hitting the keys and the nonsense running around in my brain.
Things On Your Bed: bed linens and a bunch of discarded outfits.
Things You Ate Today: a smoothie, some cheese and crackers, chips and salsa
Things You Can't Live Without: my friends, my family
Things You Do When You Are Bored: Do things that need to get done then hope that someone calls with a great adventure to go on.

4 Places You Have Been Today
The theatre
The pool
The supermarket
Mike O's place (go team)

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now
A candle
A half finished orange soda
My phone

2 Choices
To stay or go
To settle or to keep seeking

1 Place You Want To Visit
Cuba

For Q...

... who would have loved to have been here for this.

Sigh...

Oh, Britney...

What happened to Britney Spears?! I was always of the school of thought that while she was a mostly talentless singer, she made fun songs with fun videos that we could all jam out to. She was okay in my book. A perfect little package of pop culture cheese. Now she's popping out babies and walking around gas station bathrooms sans footwear.

I'd like to grab her and tell her that she has the option of wearing a t-shirt every now and then. That it's okay to cover up yer bidness once and a while.

Sigh...

Huh.

Last night was one of those nights that in retrospect you think "How did that happen?"

Rye Bread is in town and being the American Idol fan that she is, we planned to watch the results show together. Well, W heard we were doing that and asked to tag along. Cool! Then S said she wanted to come over as well. Double cool! We hang out and watch AI and we also get into W's episode of Blind Date. Sometime after that, W left to go back home to her husband. The following is what I was refering to earlier: Rye, S and I stayed up talking until like 2:30 in the morning. I haven't stayed up that late in a while let alone with anyone other than Bear and especially not with S.

It was a very fun time. I haven't done that type of thing since I was with my girls back in Texas. I'd kinda forgotten what it's like to have that kind of dynamic in the mix, a bunch a chicks just hanging out and talking shit and laughing all over the place...

It was a good night.

A day in the life...

Here's how my day went yesterday:

8am - Roll out of bed and leave a warm and sleepy Bear so that I can go get ready for our 10am show. (I love doing shows in the morning, however, the 10am ones are the hardest because folks have to be at the theatre at 9:10 for fight call. Sleeping in is a distant memory now.)

10am - R&J starts. Some of the kids are teeny, like 6th or 7th grade. I don't know how appropriate this show is for the younger ones. I mean in the first act alone I get humped by MLB, she gets humped by FG...alot.

11:15ish - I fall down onstage. Yep folks. I ate shit onstage. The worst (or best, depending on how you look at it) part is that this happened right before Juliet drinks the potion. Now as anyone who knows me knows, I can't witness a fall by anyone, ESPECIALLY myself, without dissloving into a fit of giggles. So I'm supposed to be dead on stage and I'm trying with all my might to cease the shaking that is produced by my badly stifled giggles. The funniest thing about this fall is that I'm leaving the stage when I fall. MLB tries desparately to help me out but I just eat it and too boot, I'm grasping wildly at the drop for assistance. Like a freaking sheet of material is going to help me out now. The saving grace is that I was EXITING when this happened so I was able to make my escape. When I exited, I met SH backstage who was laughing so hard, she was bent over. She of course was trying not to laugh which just made the whole thing better. We were all laughing so hard I almost missed my next entrance.

When I told Bear that I fell, he gave me a hi-five. Awesome.

3pm - I fall down AGAIN. This time I was by myself and I actually sustained an injury. I didn't even get to laugh at myself because I was immediately overcome by the pain. I think I jammed my toe pretty bad. It was good for a laugh later, though. Two falls in one day is pretty spectacular. And I woke up today and my toe feels better. Hooray!!

4:30pm - I show up for my two hours of rehearsal. WHAT?!? Yep folks. This is going to be a slllooooowwwww summer. I'm gonna get a great tan this year.

7pm - Bear and I go eat at the crappy Mexican place in town and I get slightly harrassed by the guy there. Bear wonders if he's creepy or harmless and I respond that he's harmless. Bear thinks otherwise...

Two falls, a busted toe, some Mexican food, AI and Lost... all in all, not a bad day. Not too shabby for me.

A case of the verbal hurries...

I'm stewing in the juices of self loathing, disappointment and anger. I'm in such a stew, as a matter of fact, that I'm bordering on wishing ill will to the people involved in but in no way responsible for the source of my stew. I just want to sit around and have those who love me tell exactly why and how they love me. Mmah!

I don't enjoy feeling petty and bitter but recent events have left me no choice. If I don't get this under wraps soon, my little acid tongue is going to make herself known all too well around these parts. And why do I have to be mature and good natured? Other people go around being complete crotches because they effing feel like it, but I can't be crabby about anything because I have to be little Miss EFFING Sunshine all the goddamn time. ARGH!! This sucks!!!! I'm pissed off and I feel bad about myself and I'm jealous and I know that maybe only one person even knows what this stupid entry is about but I don't CARE!! This sucks! This FUCKING SUCKS!!!! ARRGHHH!!!!!

Maybe I've been holding that in a little too long...