The hills are burning

This area of the country looks like cancer during the winter. It's dead and lifeless, cold and barren. During the summer, I feel claustrophobic from all of the foliage, but autumn...

This landscape was made for autumn. The hillsides are burning in shades of gold and scarlet and every shade in between. The trees seem to have come alive in their color, going out, quite literally, in a blaze of glory. The air is crisp but not painful as it will become once winter fully arrives. The air smells of leaves and fire and putting the last year to bed. It smells of change and possibility. I breathe in this crisp air and my lungs feel alive. The land may be going to bed for a months, but it seems that perhaps I might just be awakening.

Is there a place for me?

My life has been taken over by the never ending search for a place to live next year. I have looked all over this little town and have found almost nothing. The only thing I did find was a fantastic condo that was out of my price range and WAY too big. I'm just one girl, I don't need three floors of room. It was pretty pimp though. However, this is all leading me to believe that when I do find a place it will be the perfect one for me.

Huck found out that her ex got married recently. Always a bit of a blow. For whatever reason, whether we admit it or not, I think that there is always some hidden part of ourselves that hopes/wishes that we are the end all be all of our ex's life. There is some bit that almost wishes for that other person to never be as happy with someone else as they were with us. The happening of a marriage proves otherwise. It's strange that even though I had no desire to be with my ex ever again, my heart still broke just the tiniest little bit when I heard that he got married. I wish him well and I know with completely clarity that we were not meant to go past the point that we did, but damn, my high school sweetheart got married. As self centered as it sounds, it's a blow to the ego to know that he is over me, completely and totally, and the knowledge that I am not the love of his life hit with a resounding thud. Ugh. That's so icky.

I adore my family

This morning I received an email from oldest brother saying that the company he works for just declared bankruptcy. The slew of supportive emails began and in mine I mentioned that perhaps this falls under the "Everything happens for a reason" category. The following are the transcrpits of the emails that my middle brother and I began to fire at one another:


First P shot back:

"That whole "everything happens for a reason" thing is starting to piss
me off. What the hell was the reason behind my painful testicular infection?
Character-building? Great. I've got plenty of character now. All
stocked up. No more pain, please."



Then I responded with:

"No, but maybe it's to tell you that if you don't start
taking some responsibility for your health and start
treating your body like it's a temple and not a toilet
then all you have is 50 more years of things like
testicular infections to look forward to. This from
the girl who smokes and mainlines soda on an hourly
basis..."



He quickly fired back:

"This family is going to kill itself quickly."



To which I replied:

"Whatever. Stop being so fatalistic. I'm cleaning up my
act when I go home. I'm not 16 anymore! Did you hear
about the new iPod that plays video? I was just
thinking that that would be a very cool idea for Apple
to put into the works. I'm totally pyschic! Haha!

Jav, are you enjoying this little back and forth?"





Finally P tied it up with:

"Jav's the one being fatalistic. He's not responding to these emails
because he's hiding under his bed weeping."


These emails were going in rapid succesion with barely minutes between them. We may as well have been on the phone. It was very silly and very fun.

The adventures of Bear and Snow

Bear and I spent the better part of last night planning our trip to Disney World. Giddy like a couple of school children, we plotted out our courses of arrival and accomadations upon getting there. I had so much fun just trying to figure what airline to fly that I can't wait to actually get there.

Ever since we found out that I was going to be coming back next season, we've been acting like a couple of geeks. My theory is that Bear, being the overly sensible fellow that he is, didn't want to get too attached to someone and something that had a very limited shelf life. However, now that we know that I will be back in a few months, he's decided to unleash the love and adore me freely. We've been together for almost 3 months now and we're finally getting to the honeymoon phase.

Sigh...

winding down the days

My time here is coming to an end. Wow. It's been quite a freakin' year and I certainly have the battle scars to prove it. However, I'm now at the point where I can flaunt my wounds with pride because, check it out, here I am. Still in one piece, albeit a much smaller one, and just a little bit wiser for the wear.

We closed our show last night. Let me rephrase: We closed our show in Abingdon last night. We still have Roanoke and a week of local touring. We went out with a bang except for the fact that I missed an entrance. WHAT?!?!?! I'm so ashamed! That is one of those things that actors have nightmares about and I had luckily never experienced it before, until last night. When I told Bear about it his reply was "WHAT?!?!" which is nice because his disbelief that that would happen to me is reassuring. It's nice to know he thinks that out of character for me.

Alright, I've procrastinated long enough. I have laundry, packing, cleaning and a cake to make. Yikes!