Before I had this blog I had a blog over at Diaryland. Every now and then I'll go back and re-read some of those old entries just to remember what life was like back then. I've spent some time this morning doing that instead of working because really? I could give a fuck all about this job.
Regardless of my feelings for my current employment situation, I spent some time with the me of a few years ago. Several of the entries I read made me laugh, some of them made me a bit sad, some of them made me miss folks who are no longer in my life. Do you ever meet someone and from the get go the two of you click? You get each others jokes and energy, you know just what to do to make each other laugh really hard, all that good stuff. You're what Anne Shirley would refer to as "Friends of Adam": people cut from the same cloth. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic in nature is unimportant because when you meet these folks, it's such a shiny and special and new time that everything just sort of glows...
When I look back at these old entries and I remember people that have drifted out of my life, I'm over come with the desire to get in touch with them, write them, call them and say "Hey, remember how we used to be pals? Remember that we used to have a shit load of fun together? Do you ever miss that? Because I do, I really do. And if you ever want to call and say 'hello' or tell me something funny that happened to you today or drudge up some long forgotten inside joke, I'd really like that."
But I try not to do those things because, you know, if these folks that I miss missed me too than they'd be the ones to call or write or whatever, right?
Losing folks whose company I truly enjoy is like forgetting where that really great little hole in the wall restaurant is. I remember what made that place great, I want so badly to get back there but I haven't the foggiest idea of how to do that. All I can do is dive in circles and think "Eff! I know that this place has incredible burgers, that the menus are large lamenated sheets of cream colored paper with burgandy writing, that my favorite table is the back corner booth. How the fuck do I get there?"
Lil' Bit sent me a message today saying that I'd showed up in her dreams three times in the last week or so. She thought it meant that she should touch base with me. I've been having these dreams where this guy that I knew, like, a lifetime ago makes an appearance. I haven't talked to or laid eyes on this guy in about 4 or 5 years but every now and then he'll make a guest appearance in my dreams. It's always so good to see him because stuff is just nice and easy like it was when we were pals before things got messy. Anyway, I always wonder why he decides to pop up in my dreamscapes. Maybe I should ask him the next time I see him? (I've just very recently been able to inform myself that I'm dreaming and it's definitely adding a new demention to my nightly adventures.) Yeah, maybe I'll do that.
Ok, this entire dicussion is a little too heavy for me to deal with on an empty stomach. I'm gonna go eat some lunch and be thankful for the super cool folks that are still in my life!
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That's all well and good, but how do my pajamas look lately?
PS this is not an LB (Lesbian Message)
GIVE ME TEN DOLLARS!!!!
We all have the same dreams. It's a scientific fact. You make guest appearances in their dreams too. Call em. What's the worst that can happen? I bet they've wanted to call you too. You're both just scared of where to start. Hello usually works best.
I had a dream last night about an ex I haven't spoken to in a long time. He had a prosethetic penis made of clay. I woke up feeling a bit sad and totally weirded out that I was even exposed to it. What do you think that means? My dreams are so odd...
I think it's fairly obvious what your dream means. Dreams are messages to ourselves. And you chose to flash a prosethetic cock to yourself. So no wonder you woke up feeling sad, and a bit weirded out.
Actually ok now that I think about it, here's the Anderson Cooper. You chose someone who was obviously important enough to you that you would listen to them. An ex boyfriend, someone you used to trust. Because you thought you could trust them. Trust that they wouldn't you know do anything weird....like show you a clay pidgeon, but that's just the kind of situation that you would exploit in real life. And so you went with Cassius Clay and not Muhammad Ali. You did this because you love practical jokes.
I accept that it was all a manifestation of my very own imagination, that is why it is all the more disturbing that last night I dreamed I happened upon my landlord asleep in my bed.
Run with that one buddy...
Two possible interps for this dream. The more simpler, on the surface one, is this : You put a person you're not at all comfortable with, your landlord in the most comfortable space that you know your bed. Without knowing the relationship you both have, I won't guess why you did that. But maybe that makes some amount of sense. The deeper interp is this: you used to wet the bed as child, and you used to hate yourself for it. So this is a redemption dream. You're telling yourself "yeah you used to wet the bed kid, but look at you now, you have an apartment, you pay rent, and your landlord would even sleep in your bed....because baby it's dry."
Hey I have one of these now. Screw Myspace.com
http://yourmommm.blogspot.com
Don't forget the power of
"Sometimes I think about things.
Do you?"
SEND!
The power of "Sometimes I think about things. Do you?" SEND! is unharrnessed. I just caution that if anyone ever uses this again to be weary.
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