Woof.

I was going to title this post "Reasons why my dog is awesomer than your dog" but that felt a bit nasty and not really in the spirit of how I'm living life right now. Plus, many of the dogs I know are rad as well. So instead, I'll discuss some awesome things about Mr. O and if you, loyal readers, have dog stories you'd like to share, feel free to do so. We can revel in our collective dog awesomeness! Cool?

First off, here's how life has changed at Casa Earhart since bringing Mr. O home:

-I have actually found the one thing that will make me, without fail, get out of bed every morning and throw on my sweats and sneakers and hit the trails. And it's a 52lb. pound dog. Who lurves hills. Together, we're getting it tight and right.

-I now watch The Dog Whisperer religiously. The man has a gift and he's using it to rehabilitate dogs and train people. Tsst!

-I also now regularly cry during The Dog Whisperer. Oh god. I'm such a pussy. But c'mon, the other day there was this dog who had been in one of those animal testing facilities and he was scared of the two lovely people who adopted him. *Sob* I'm not made of stone, people!

-I also cry during the Cesar brand dog food commercials. Once again: C'mon people!

-Oh jeez, this one is embarrassing. Ok, I am now that person who reads dog magazines. (A/N: I need you all to imagine me burying my face in my hands out of sheer and utter humilation at the disclosure of this fact.) Look effers, my dog is of a certain breed and to help him be the best dog he can be, I need to understand him and his lineage and what he is capable of, if left to his own devices. I mean, I don't subscribe to any of them but, yes, I will occasionally pick up an issue of Bully Breeds or something.

I can feel your look!

-I am now at a point where I witness the destructive things that O does and instead of being pissed, I kind of just marvel at his ingenuity. The other day he figured out how to unravel the carpet in my living room. WTF? I have that nubby carpet that will come apart like a zipper if you tug on a loose end. I guess O found that loose end and gave it a good pull. It's just a little two foot strip, but really? The carpet? What even made that occur to him?

Awesome things about my dog:

-He's the best alarm clock I've ever had. Every morning at about 6:30 Owen decides that it's time to start the day. And every day, without fail, he does this by hurling his 50+ lbs of solid muscle at my face. I finally realized that if I let him climb up on to the bed with me, he'll let me sleep another hour before trying to launch himself at my head again.


-O is a really smart dog and sometimes, just sometimes, I think he does stuff to my mom just to mess with her. The other day she had given him this long lasting chew toy that he decided was so rad that he had to hide it. My mom and I kept finding it tucked into the couch cushions and stuff and each time we'd take it out and place it in his crate. Well, the next thing we know, we hear this total ruckus coming from my mom's office. We run in there to see O perched on this chair where my mom had stacked her bills, papers, mail, etc. Apparently he saw this chair and decided that was exactly the hiding spot for his new treasure. So he's digging away at the chair, my mother's papers and stuff are flying all over the place and my mom throws her little hands up in the air and yells "Mis papeles!!" (Look it up if you can't figure out what that means.) O got a very stern talking to after that little incident but he really only looked miffed that he had to find yet another hiding spot for his bully stick.

-He's got the pain tolerance of a brick wall. Seriously! I was trying to put him into the car one day and I had opened the rear door but it hadn't opened all the way. Before I knew it, O had launched himself at the tiny little opening and he slammed into the door going full throttle. He hit the door so hard that he fell back out of the car and landed in the driveway with this look like "I fell. I'm not sure what happened but I'm pretty sure I fell." And he just shook the whole thing off like it never happened. He didn't even yelp when he fell out of the car. I, of course, started crying.

-In addition to waking me up by jumping on my head, he also really likes to say "Hello" by launching himself at my face...with an open mouth. To date, I have received two minor black eyes from my dog "greeting" me and crashing into my face. And we all know that you're not having a good time until you get a bloody nose or a black eye!

Alright, I gotta go watch today's episode of The Dog Whisperer. Somebody get me some kleenex.