Blech.

Man...I had what was an ok day, but now it's all shot to shit. I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow where she's going scold me for making a stupid mistake at work today. I shoulda known better but now I have to go into this meeting with her and she's gonna have to do her whole spiel and then I get to feel stupid and inadequate. Plus, Bear yelled at me, walked away in a huff and just generally tried to make me feel shitty today. However, I finally did tell him that it had been a year now that we were doing this little dance and that I needed to get over it and over him. He just got this strange look on his face and said ok and then he left. The worst part of it is that I hate myself for giving him even one moment of discomfort or unease. He bolted pretty fast but not before I saw the look that crossed his face. But then again, I could just be imagining the whole thing and maybe he's glad to finally be rid of me.

Over tour we had this joke about a robot in a kimono. He swore that he would be able to find a picture of that and that when he did, he would put it on a shirt. He showed up with it today. Robot in full traditional Japanese kimono. I didn't give him the reaction I normally would have. When he came by to talk today, he said that the only reason he made that stupid shirt was to make me laugh. And I wanted to laugh, but I just couldn't bring myself to let him have that little bit of me. Maybe it's all a load of crap, but to think that he spent even one minute thinking of something to do to get a smile from me...that one got me. Ugh. I want today and tomorrow to be over right now. This very moment. NOW!