So... this was a "survey" I pilfered from MySpace. I had to create a list of 11 people I knew and then answer questions about those people. Tada!

1. Scot
2. Seana
3. Janaiah
4. Frank
5. Mattie
6. Bobby
7. Leia
8. Susan
9. Bre
10. Kristi
11. Amy


HOW DID YOU MEET #4?
he introduced himself in a parking lot

DO YOU LIKE ANYONE FROM THE LIST YOU MADE?
well, i like everyone on the list but really like? i'm pretty sweet on mr. scot. heehee!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HADN'T MET # 1?
thrown myself from a building. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF #6 AND #2 WERE GOING OUT?
shit myself

HOW DID YOU MEET #8?
i can't remember the specifics but it was at school. i know that much.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF #7?
krazy with a k. good chickee though.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF #5 CONFESSED THEY "LOVE YOU"?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WHERE DOES #7 LIVE?
austin

IS #2 YOUR BEST FRIEND?
that title offically belongs to numero tres but number two is a rockin' chick and i'm very sad that i don't get to see her everyday anymore.

HAS #10 EVER DONE ANYTHING ROMANTIC FOR YOU?
well, recently we held hands in a dimly lit restaurant. does that count?

DID YOU EVER EAT AROUND #11?
that's almost all i do around her

DO YOU MISS #1
yes. sigh...

WHO IS #11 DATING?
much to everyone's chagrin, she's very married. lucky guy, that greg.

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF #6?
always a special place in my heart for that one.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT #3?
Official title holder of best friend for almost 10 years.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF #3 AND #7 WERE GOING OUT?
"when did y'all become lesbians?"

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL THING YOU DO WITH #11?
there's too many special things to list. i freakin' love this chick.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INSIDE #9'S HOUSE?
it was my home away from home for quite some time.

WOULD YOU MARRY #1?
...yeah. i would.

DO YOU LOVE #8?
more than words can express

EVER BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM AS ANY OF THE #'S?
yes. this question is stupid!

DO YOU TRUST ALL OF THEM?
almost all of them. there's a few that i haven't really spent time with in years so who knows what they're like now.

HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ANY OF THEM?
oh yeah! wink, wink!

So there, that's my survey. Have fun with that effers!

I've got your tighter, firmer abs right HERE!

I did an hour and a half of pilates today. By the end I could no longer scoop my tummy or exhale in a soothing manner. Yeesh!

Eff those effing pilates.

I am SO over winter.

Ahhhh....

Last week, Bear and I decided that we had had enough. We threw caution to the wind and with a complete disregard of our bank accounts, we took off for the Happiest Place on Earth: Disney World!! A good time was had by all and it was wonderful to feel like we were on vacation as opposed to feeling like we were unemployed. ANYHOO...

Florida in March is absolutely delicious and the two of us came back looking ever so sun kissed. As luck would have it, the weather here is also warming up which is wonderful news for me. As soon as the thermometer kisses 65 I'm bringing out the summer clothes. I tend to feel a little like I'm dying during the winter. It doesn't help that it's much too easy to gain weight during the cold months which wreaks havoc on the ol' self esteem. Warm weather makes me want to go play outside and have cookouts and drink margaritas. I LOVE IT!!

So this is my official declaration: I'm over winter. If I never had to deal with another one for the rest of my life, I'd be happy. I have no use for wind chills or bulky sweaters or frozen rain or anything of the like. I'm over it. Do you hear me?! I'M OVER IT!!!

Alright, I'm done ranting. I'm off to plot about how I can convince Bear to run off to the beach with me.

Hot + Stupid x Vain = Embarrassing Pictures of Yourself on the Internet

If you haven't heard of the Antonella Barba scandal that's hit American Idol this season, well, consider yourself lucky.

In a nutshell: Antonella is a gal from Jersey who can kinda sing but has a rocking body and a very pretty face. As soon as she made it into the top 24 pictures of her doing all sorts of naughty things surfaced on the internet. Some are fake, some are real. I don't really care, I'll just be glad when she's gone. HOWEVER...


This is my very favorite picture of Ms. Barba:

Now you may be asking yourself why I would love this picture and I'll tell you. It's because she bares a striking resemblance to this:

Or this:

And also this:

I swear I'm not trying to be mean but every time I see this picture I'm reminded of a wet cat. I think it has something to do with her squinty eyes and the wet hair plastered on her forehead. Whatever it is, I fully expect her to step out of that fountain, spitting and hissing, and making that weird sound cats make when they're angry or in heat. Then she'll slink off into a corner where she'll shake uncontrollably and blink her eyes a lot. blink, blink... blink.

Spontaneous Hilarity is the Best Kind!

So yesterday I was at the Post Office doing Post Office-y type things and I see this little boy of about six or seven with his mother. This kid's being your run of the mill little bastard: banging stuff around, asking too many questions, squeezing his toy kitty cat which meows at a ridiculous volume, etc. Well, this little kid and his mother do their business at the counter and then head out the door. I drop off the postcards I was mailing and also head out the door. As I'm digging for my keys, which have inevitably fallen into the depths of my bag, I see a slight commotion ahead of me. I glance up, only to lay my eyes on one of the most fantastical things I have ever seen. The aforementioned kid had apparently taken a tumble as he was skipping down the corridor towards the exit. Not only that, but when he fell... his pants fell down too. So I look up to see this little boy struggling to get up and pull his pants up at the same time. He was kinda doing that hop and jump thing people do when pulling their pants up that makes them look like they were participating in a bean bag race. And when I say his pants fell down, I mean they fell down. I saw this poor little kid's entire butt. HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I laughed so hard I almost shit myself.

Outgoing Message

Hi! You've reached my blog. Unfortunately, I have nothing to say right now. But if you keep checking in with me, I'll probably have something clever soon.

Thanks, bye!

This is what they call tough love

Britney then:

Britney now:

Britney then:

Britney now:

Then:

Now:

What happened Brit? You used to be America's sweetheart. Every guy wanted to touch you all over. And now this. I'm not harping on you for the weight gain, I mean ,you popped out two babies in the time it takes to make a microwave bag of popcorn. But why do you insist on dressing like you shop at the Magic Mart? Or the store where strippers get their "costumes"? Why do you wander around in minuscule skirts and no underpants? Why do you always look like you're on the last leg of a cross country road trip and the only sanitary measures you've taken are a whores bath in a restroom outside of Clovis, NM and a pack of Handi-Wipes that you found in the glove compartment? Stop effing around, take care of your kids (and I mean you take care of your kids, don't just hand them off to the nanny or your mom or the latest guy that you threw up on), quit dying your hair, or at the very least, WASH your hair and take some time to regroup. Maybe hit the spa... or the gym. I'm just saying. I promise we won't forget about you if we don't see your swimsuit parts for a couple of weeks. Ok?